Wednesday, July 16, 2008

So Conflicted

The biggest challenge of motherhood for me has been BOREDOM. I know some moms are just so busy all the time, but I don't how they do it. We go to the free movie every week, we go to story time every week, we've hit every park in Boise, I'm teaching Ashlyn how to read, etc. etc. etc. and yet I still end up with SO much time on my hands. There's only so many times you can play Connect 4 during the day without feeling utterly useless.

Anyways, my point is I've really toyed with the idea of going back to work. The extra money would be great, but my biggest reason for doing this is so I won't be so bored. I've applied at the YMCA and at Golds Gym where I could work in their childcare centers and bring the kids with me. But if those don't work out, I may look elsewhere. Sorry mom, but Albertsons may be my #1 pick.

My problem though is that I hate the idea of putting my kids in daycare. Because everyone knows that only moms who don't love their kids put them in daycare. OK I know that's not true, but I still feel incredibly guilty for considering daycare.

Anyways, for those of you that read my blog and who are SAHMs...WHAT DO YOU DO ALL DAY??? Don't give me ideas on how to waste time, because I can waste time. I'd like some ideas on how to be more productive during the day.


Bethany said...

oh my, i just posted about being bored at home. i always make treats. it's a bad habit that has to stop! anyway, I feel the exact same way you do. i'd like to work. i miss working, but i'm really conflicted about it. i am always bored at home. i have a hard time playing with my kids. i'm not a good mom. they are lucky they have each other to play with.. or i'm lucky!

Betsy said...

You could move here. I don't think we would be bored, but we would probably waste a lot of time. Ways to be productive though... I am going to have to get back to you on that one.

Brittney said...

I'm sure that when they are older and doing activities you are going to be crazy busy! Just pop out a few more and see what happens then :P totally kidding.

I'm working part time right now and it's really nice to get out of the house and do something. Before that I was pretty much bored too. I always go up to my dad's so I can hang out with my sister and have big people time.

Now I'm starting to get into crafty things like making headbands for Madelyn and crocheting when I'm not being mommy and playing with her.

So I don't know...

Tilly said...

I totally understand. It can be tedious. Once the kids hit school age though, I started to hate being busy all the time. I once signed both of tmy older ones up for soccer, and between two games a week, two practices, and then the two girls going to ballet, I nearly lost my mind trying to keep up with it all, and then preschool and first grade driving around got into the mix. It really does come and go with the craziness. I did find I enjoyed being out and about at a job that was very part time and not really a time commitment. It helped some, but there are times when I am glad I don't have to work, and when it is so nice to not be tied to a work schedule.
Maybe you could write a novel, or your memoirs. That sounds productive, and is a great time waster. Plus if someone asks what you do al day and say "I am wriitng my memoir: they will be endlessly fascinated by you and what you have that is so juicy as to require a memoir...

Linda said...

My problem wasn’t so much feeling bored, but feeling frustrated and unproductive. I always felt like I was just spinning my wheels. I gained satisfaction in having the house nice but knew that whatever I did to make it that way (mopping, cleaning glass sliding door, etc)., the “ destruction derby” would be right behind me undoing what I’d done. I knew that “The most important work you’ll do is within the walls of your home.” But my eternal perspective was often dimmed by the craziness of the here and now of getting through a day.

When the last one was in junior high and I started teaching at the high school, I loved it so much, I often thought, “Good thing I didn’t know how much I’d love this job or I’m afraid I would have been tempted to do it while the kids were still little. This is a lot more fun than changing diapers and scrubbing toilets.” The feminists strike a chord when they encourage women to leave the drudgery of the home and go out fulfill themselves. It is often easier to feel fulfilled in the workforce (unless you have a boss that makes your job miserable). So I think you need to go on faith and your natural motherly instincts that in spite of your frustrations, whether it be spinning wheels or boredom, your kids need you, not a day care center, and that being a full-time mom to them will have eternal benefits, as we’ve been counseled by every prophet of late.

One problem I've seen with moms of little ones taking a part-time job is it usually turns into full-time.

What did I do to keep from getting bored while raising nine kids? Tilly’s comment is right-on; when the kids get older the pace picks up and you can easily find yourself racing daily. I LIVED for the boys wrestling matches. Oh man, I loved going to them. What an adrenaline rush when you see your own flesh and blood on the mat, facing the enemy, about to get flattened or about to flatten. I could go on and on about the highlights of each day when your kids are involved and you’re there, supporting them. But yes, the pace can get out of hand. You have to be careful.

I also found great fulfillment in service outside the home. Although it wasn’t always peaches and cream, having church callings and being a visiting teacher always gave a balance to my “stay-at-home-ness”. My closest friends always seemed to be the women I served with in whatever calling I had. They often wouldn’t be the women I would have normally sought ought for a friendship with, but serving together draws you together and there’s a bond that’s created and fulfillment you receive when you’re serving a great cause.

I also became heavily engrossed in Tilly’s “memoirs” suggestion. That project spanned over thirty years (just finished it this year!!!) That was a very exciting project for me; going through my old diaries, journals, etc., and putting my life down in story form. I was so determined to finish it and get copies printed before we leave for China this fall, that I daily rejected calls from school to sub this year. (Only taught three days this whole last school year.) And when I would be at the high school and fellow teachers asked where I’d been, they were really impressed when I said, “I’m writing my memoirs. Don’t have time to teach.”

Just as exhilarating for me was working on genealogy. I’d swap kids with a friend once a week so I could have alone time to concentrate for a few hours. I’m afraid if they had the internet tools then that they have now, I’d have been obsessed with genealogy more than I was. You’ve got such a good brain. I can see you being an A+ family researcher. I think it would get in your blood to discover whose blood runs through your veins. J

Okay Brit, I think this is long enough from your mother-in-law. By the way, when I need a break from our moving-out project, I watch your home-tour video, have a good laugh and go back to the grindstone.


Heather H said...

Oh honey I totally understand what you are saying. There are so many days when I wish I had a job to go to so I could have a real conversation and where no one there needed their bum or nose wiped but everytime I get ready to apply somewhere the Ensign comes out with an article about staying home with little ones or someone at church talks about how fast the time goes and it just doesnt feel like the right thing for me. to combat the boredom I have been trying to take the kids places at least once a week and this summer our ward started a playgroup so that helps with me getting to talk to other adults. Good luck with your decision and just know that others of us out there are going through the same thing.

Heather said...

A good friend of mine came up with this idea so I take no credit. Put a bunch of topics on slips of paper in a jar, things your kids are into. For my boys it would be stuff like planets, weird insects, sharks, you get the idea. On Monday or any day of the week you choose, pick a topic from the jar. During the most boring time of day, maybe around two or three go to the library and get as many cool books you can on those topics. Now you and Ashlyn can read up on things that are interesting to her and maybe look up some craft type idea on the internet about those topics. Take it as far or as light as you want. It will expand her mind and get you all out of the house, which is my biggest goal in the summer.

Meg said...

What I started doing is secret shopping. I've been doing it for about 7 months now and I like it. It's not a ton of money, at all... but it's nice to have a little assignment to do and I get paid to go shopping, can't beat that. I take Tru with me and we go do our shop and then I get to write a big ole' report about it and pretend I'm in school again. Just an idea... Some of the places I've shopped are Tommy Hilfiger, Sketchers, Charlotte Russe, Chili's, RC Willey, Dry Cleaners, etc.

Kate said...

Find a friend to waste time with. Find a sarcastic neighbor and sit on your front porch with her and make fun of all the other neighbors. If I lived by you I would drag you into that totally productive activity. And Bethany could bring the treats.

I think the gym daycare job is totally ideal. I love my part time job. Just when I can't take another second of Victoria screaming in my ear, I get to go to work and gossip and chat! Aah. My life rocks.

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