Friday, April 19, 2013

The Day I Mooned Everybody

Like most moms, my life is really glamorous.  Today was typically so.  I woke up 15 minutes late with Ashlyn at the foot of my bed whispering just slightly louder than my alarm clock, telling me it was time to get up.  She's a sweet girl.  And it's a good thing that out of the five of us, one of us doesn't sleep in.

You can tell just by looking at her that she's got it together.

The two boys are a bit of a challenge in the morning.  Austin pretends to sleep so I have to dress him and drag him downstairs.  Eli squirms and fights me because he's trying to launch himself down the stairs.  And then as soon as my back is turned, he grabs the cinnamon sugar, dumps it out and then rubs it in his hair.

Maybe people will just assume that he's freshly bathed since he smells so sweet?  I can only hope!

And then demands begin.  Eggs for breakfast, no waffles, Eli has my toy, where are my shoes, my homework?, I spilled the milk, I forgot to pack my lunch...

We're out the door in time, but the damage to my kitchen is already done.  And usually stays damaged because the rest of our day is much the same.  

At noon, I wake up Eli after a much-too-short-nap to either pick up Austin or drop him off.  Today it was speech therapy. And because speech is only half an hour, and that is much too long of a time to leave Eli cooped up in a little office, but much too short of a time to do anything else, we struggle finding things to do.  Today we went to the grocery store where in ten minutes I haphazardly put items in my cart I thought I needed (nope, turns out I didn't and still have only half of the ingredients I'd need to make a meal).

And then we sit through Ashlyn's awards ceremony, clean (while the boys unclean) the kitchen again.  

I of course try to get a nap in while Eli gets one, but again it's much too short and I had to wake up Eli early so we could run somewhere else.  Today I crossed my fingers that Kroger carried Barbies because it was on our way to Ashlyn's sleepover.  She's only staying until 11pm though.  Get used to it Ash, the lameness of your parents is only going to get worse.

So by the time I buckled the kids in again, listened to another 45 minutes of a Pixar movie I've never seen, but have memorized, another stop at a fast food joint because I had nothing for dinner, I was cursing the traffic and debating what I'd throw at Rustin if he dared mention the bran flakes on the floor (probably from yesterday) or ask "Do you have anything planned for dinner?"  

But he didn't ask that, he takes enough "dad days" to understand that it is completely possible to be so incredibly busy and get absolutely nothing done.

But you know what he asked instead?  

"Did you know that there's a hole in your pants?"  You guys, "hole" was an understatement...

Almost my entire back pocket was ripped off.  And I was wearing fluorescent pink panties.  I have this vague recollection of leaning against something today and it getting caught and pulling on my pocket a little, but I don't remember when that was.  I spent the evening trying to convince myself it was on my way home from the birthday party (where I met 5-6 of Ashlyn's friend's parents) and after Kroger (apparently the place to be on a Friday), and after speech therapy at the elementary school, and awards ceremony, and of course the other grocery store...

But now I've decided that I don't mind that I mooned half of my city.  It's been that kind of a week.  And I lead that kind of life.


Candice said...

Awesome! Hot pink huh? You're life is SO fun to read about!

We're lame too, no sleepovers kids. I'm bracing myself for the cell phone fight that is sure to erupt at our house next year with a middle-schooler.

Ginger said...


Linda Terry said...

brit, there must be some consolation knowing that ripped jeans are the fad these days. not that i like the fad, but it speaks highly of your good judgement that it bothered you.

kate n. said...

I'm with ging, HAHAHA!!
P.s. way to go on being lame parents!

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