Friday, June 8, 2012

Best Friends Day

In honor of Best Friends Day (today!) I'm going to blog about my best friends.

Even though we're all spread out, (seriously coast to coast and a few random states in between) and we never ever talk because we all had babies this year and would rather sleep, they're still my best friends.  I figure if we can all make out with each other's boyfriends and survive that, then we're friends for life.

So I'm going to tell a story about Annie.  And English class.  

So our English teacher (junior year?), was doing a lesson on the dollar bill.  Annie sat to the right of me, Jo Anne sat to the left of me, Misty sat in front of me, and the entire class was in a "U" shape.  I pulled out my dollar bill, but Annie didn't have one so she leaned over to see mine.  Well, her hand went out to grab the metal bar on my desk and missed.  I watched in slow motion horror as the whites of her eyes got really big and she started to fall out of her chair.  

Her head slammed into the metal bar of my desk and she crumpled to the ground.

Remember that the desk layout was "U" shaped, and she was in the perfect position for everyone to see her.  At that point, I figured the best thing I could do was not to laugh.  Sure I could have gotten up to help her off the ground, but every muscle in my body was focused on one thing.  Do not laugh at your friend

I didn't even know if she was okay.  I just stared at a spot on my desk, cleared my head and focused on breathing.  Any time I'd close my eyes I could see the whites of her eyes filled with terror, and I'd have to stifle a giggle.  I stopped blinking and tears formed, but eventually I got it under control and dared to peek around to see what the damage was.

First I looked at Annie.  She was huddled in her chair, clutching her head with her hands and her hair was covering her face.  She had survived physically, but socially??  Then I looked up at Misty, Misty was oblivious.  So I looked around the room and everyone was quietly working on their essay.  No one was pointing or laughing at Annie.  No one had seen her fall out of her chair.  

I went very quickly from concerned friend to cheated rival.  (It was high school after all and you know we all found pleasure in our friends misfortunes!)

But there was still one direction that I hadn't looked, and that was left towards Jo Anne.  I glance over at her expecting another studious essay writer, and like Annie she too had her head in her hands, but her entire body was shaking with repressed laughter.  She peeked over at me and we both lost it.  And we laughed for the next half hour, and every 30 seconds or so Annie with her wounded pride would whisper, "shut up, just shut up."  

And even though it's been 12 or 13 years since Annie fell out of her chair, I still can't not laugh when I see in my mind the look of terror on Annie's face as she plummeted to apparent social suicide.  

Speaking of social suicide...

I still dream that someday we will all live on Ham Row and our kids will marry each other like an all too cheesy Harry Potter epilogue, but until then the memories and good times keep me smiling.  And whenever we get together (which is much too rare) it's like no time has gone by and we eat like we're still in high school and pretend that none of us got fat.  BFFs.  I'm lucky to have them.


Sunday, June 3, 2012

Dinners...not a fan.

I went grocery shopping this weekend and came home with a frozen pizza, I told Rust that it was for dinner this week when "I'm feeling lazy."  He said, "So Monday's taken care of...what'll we have on Tuesday?"  


But why cook dinner when 3/5s of my family would rather eat toe nails?

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