Monday, December 19, 2011

My Birth Plan

At my last appointment, the doctor asked me about my birth plan.  

With Austin, I didn't specify a birth plan.  And I feel like if I had, maybe I wouldn't have ended up with salmonella poisoning, a 104 degree fever, and a 5-day stay at a hospital that had no hot water and nurses who kept accusing my husband of domestic violence and lecturing me about staying up too late at night.

So I got a little specific.  Including when I'd go into labor (tomorrow), when I'd get an epidural (ummm...yesterday, thanks), how many contractions I'd feel (none), and how I'd just laugh and talk with Rustin (maybe watch a movie?) until the baby just falls out.

The doctor didn't write any of that down.

It's like, why ask me a question if you're not going to take my answer seriously?  So after an uncomfortable minute of him staring at me, apparently waiting for me to revise or clarify my birth plan, he scribbled "epidural".  Although you know how doctors write.  They really can't.

So that there's no mistake, I made him capitalize it, underline it three times, and add about 50 exclamation points at the end.

He did not highlight it.  We're not really on good terms, not like I am with my anesthesiologist anyways.  My anesthesiologist not only would have highlighted it, he would have written it in red sparkly pen and smiled when he did it.



Jessica said...

That sounds like a great birth plan. What's wrong with that doctor?! Good luck on going into labor tomorrow. :)

Candi said...

Love it! I almost kissed my anesthesiologist when Cody was born...I at least should have named Cody after him....or sent him a Christmas card... but I didn't do any of those things. Man I suck.

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