Note to Self

When stumbling downstairs in the middle of the night to get a drink of water. Don't scream at the man with the weapons standing in your living room.

It's just Legolas. And he's here to protect you.

Confession Time: Trip to Washington Edition

I stole Legolas.

Dear Nigerians,

I would be more likely to fall for your Craigslist scams if...

a. Your English was better than my three-year-old's.

and

b. You wouldn't offer more money for an already overpriced item.

Work on that and then maybe we can talk about shipping my Wii to another country.