Monday, December 4, 2006

What's so great about living in Hawaii?

We pay more in rent each month than we even make. Our brand new silverware started rusting after a week. Cockroaches are frequently seen amidst our apartment. And the ants have something wrong with them mentally.
*Side note on the ants. Occasionally I find mass hords of them hanging out in random places. I can understand it if there was a piece of food that fell into the bottom of my dresser, or a piece that somehow got stuck to the ceiling in our bedroom (which happened to be the only room in our rental), but with none of that - why would there be hundreds and HUNDREDS of ants hanging out in them. Building a home, maybe? Probably. Oh, and they swim here.
Let's see, you can't decorate a palm tree very well with Christmas lights, although people do every year. I have to remember that when someone says, "Auntie" I have to turn and look to make sure they're not talking to me, even though I have no relatives over here. It doesn't take long to figure out what "talk story" means and to avoid it whenever possible. When someone says, "Ho, my Muddah. I come home late, she ony had geev me da Stink Eye" I'm supposed to know what that means and the grammar behind that. "Customer service" is a word that has no Hawaiian translation.
But isn't this a nice tropical relaxing paradise?
Well, I don't sleep well at night because I hear everyone coming home until 2AM, then I hear them as they start to leave for work at 4AM. Shut my windows? Windows here don't actually shut. They're plastic slats, and if you shut them all the way they rattle when the wind blows. Just to get anywhere (even the local grocery store) I have to get on a 6 lane freeway. Speaking of grocery stores, be prepared to spend big bucks on food, especially perishable items that spent so long on the boats coming over here that they only last a few days. So if you spend that $4-$8 on that gallon of milk - chug that baby!


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